Lying is the problem Cheating is not

If the heading caught your eyes then you must be a guy or we can assume that you are a guy. Though this problem is not limited to guys only; girls also face the same problem time to time. What the hell… “Lying is the problem cheating is not”, who says that? Either this guy is a freak or had gone totally insane. No, my friends, I am perfectly normal and I know exactly what I am talking about.

You must be wondering why I am talking nonsense like this; well let me explain the situation a little bit. In order to explain this, I need to tell you a real-life case study that I have recently encountered with. Only then this whole thing will be clear and easy to understand. A few days earlier a nice looking guy came up to me and asked for a little advice. He heard about me and knew that I deal with this type of cases sometimes. So I asked him about the problem then he told me that he had messed up big time. How’s that?

The story is something like this- He is a guy in his mid-forties successful and happily married with two very sweet and lovely kids. He is just an average guy like the guy next door. Nothing fancy, nothing flashy just the regular kind. He was happy and loved her wife very much. Then suddenly in his workplace, a new intern girl joined and the problem begins. This particular girl was fairly interested in this guy and grew a relationship gradually. Nothing serious in the first but then gradually dug deep and then suddenly one day it happened, accidentally. I think you know what I meant.

So after the intimacy part over this guy realized that he had done a really bad thing and regretted it. He was so much into his wife that he thought of doing something terrible. You must be thinking that he should have thought about it before it happened. Yes, you are right but hey we all are human and you know “To err is human”. So the bottom line is, he was really very sorry.
Now he was terrified that if his wife finds it out then what will happen and how she might leave him. How his kids will hate him and how he will be kept away from his kids and many things like that. He was so much worried that it became difficult for him to even talk to his wife. You know how these wives are, they can smell a rat from a mile away. So she assumed that something is wrong.
But she didn’t ask him anything and gave him space. From my point of view that was a very wise decision. So this is the time he looked for some help and found me.

He asked me what he should do. I was supposed to say that wait and try not to do this again. If you can ensure your self by repeating this then you will be all right. But instead, I asked him about his relationship with his wife. He told me that he was married for 15 years and they had a good understanding of this incident happened. So I was sure that he knew his wife very well and there might be a chance to make it right.

So this is what I did. I told him that he should talk to her wife and should tell her everything. Just in the plain simple word, without making something up. He did not like the idea. But he was agreed to give it a shot anyway. Then I told him to say sorry to his wife and ask for her forgiveness. And last, of all tell her how much you love her. How you feel all about it. Then let her choose her decision. If she really loves you she will forgive you, if not there is no chance to make it work.

Today or tomorrow you will get caught.

I told him that if she knows it from someone else rather than you than there will be no chance for him. She will like to hear it from you rather than anyone else.

He did it. He told her everything and you know what she said?
She said” I am not happy with this but I think you deserve a second chance. If you promise not to do this ever again I will forgive you. Because I also love you and a mistake is a mistake.

“Then she said again” Lying is the problem cheating is not.”
He called me a few days later thanking me.
She called me to invite in for a dinner, I thanked her and refused politely.

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